Tell a Star Trek Lie Thread!!!

[Warp_Speed]

Okay........totally robbed from other forums, but i think this could work here.

Basically, you tell a lie. But you must use "Star Trek" related info in your lie!

Sound good? Well, let's go.........

[Warp_Speed]

I will start off.........

Captain Kirk is actually a woman, who is hot for alien "men".

[FSFJosh]

I hear Worf really does enjoying eating a good book. His favorite is Hamlet (in the original Klingon, of course). Quite tasty, supposedly.

[Warp_Speed]

I think Romlulans are sexsay!

[superzero]

The Ferengi are very charitable.

[Quince]

According to my Star Trek Book, a warp core only provides power and not propulsion. The computer actually does all the work.

[boz75]

Captain Picard actually has a full head of hair, but it is hidden using a stolen Klingon micro cloaking device.

[Magellanic]

Wil Wheaton was actually a GREAT actor; everyone else sucked in comparison.

[Valcutio]

Kirk never made out with alien females. He also hated taking off his shirt.

[Daggaroth]

Section 31 and the tal shiar both work for the Republican Party

[Daggaroth]

although to be honest im not sure if thats a lie heh

[Cookiepig]

When not on duty the whole engineering team on Enterprise gets together and hold Wii sports tournaments.

[Excalion]

The USS Voyager never got lost in the Delta Quadrant it was all a dream...BUT GUESS WHO'S DREAM IT WAS!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHjFxJVeCQs&feature=related

[hypnotoad]

Roddenberry was a religious man.
Star Fleet is a non-militaristic organization.

[Magellanic]

Section 31 and the tal shiar both work for the Republican Party
lmao. I'm a sucker for political jokes

[Noonien]

Spock can die.

[mynameisjavits]

Data is NOT anatomically correct and neither was Tasha Yar.

[Warp_Speed]

Captain Kirk once slept with a tribble because he thought it was just a hairy Klingon.

[PhantomPhoton]

Worf is a merry man!

[spartan547]

Captain Kirk is the Final Cylon. Sorry about the spoiler.

[Thomas45]

Enterprise is popular :D

[sgutteridge]

The "Phoenix" never flew it was all staged somewhere in the desert

[Thomas45]

Janeway does not like coffee.

[Bretticus]

Janeway is a man, after all she went "Boldly where no man had gone before"

[FEA_Lt_Timothy_Corey_Dalton]

Kirk hadn´t died- he lives on a far away planet and Elvis is his neighbour.

[The_Borg]

You will not be assimilated.

[FEA_Lt_Timothy_Corey_Dalton]

Romulans are logical, Vulcans cruel and violent.

[Warp_Speed]

Picard is a future relative of Chuck Norris.

[destroyfx]

Borg are evolved human (using technology to replace cheap and unreliable biologic parts).. They discovered time travel and they are lost in the past.

[kbird200425]

Janeway was the real Maquis operative.

[anti]

Actually, the caretaker was Tuvok's father

[Valikdu]

Federation is actually ruled by the Asgard.

[SEGA]

Star Trek Deep Space 9 is the Best Star Trek Ever !!1!!1!!!

[Stu1701]

Every guy wearing a red shirt came back from his away mission without a scratch.

[CherriBerri]

The Borg are pacifist and started the 'Go Green' Trend.

:o

[wgc01]

Q was the alien formally known as R :/

[Bretticus]

Q was the alien formally known as R :/


Rofl, Great stuff.

[Warp_Speed]

When Kirk yelled down to Scotty, "To give it more power", Scotty would yell back, "I'm giving it all she can Captain, but she just can't take it." But what we all didnt see was, Scotty was actually "giving it to her"!!! ;)

[Genex]

Tasha Yar didn't die, she only went for a mud bath in the tar

(he he Yar in the Tar)

[Jonathan_Talon]

There is only one restroom per starship and no one wants to use it because of Worf and his Prune juice habits.

[Word2BigBird]

In the video where the guy sticks his bald head inside that womans vagina... it was Picard.. deleted episode. "A Captians Dark Battle"

[Valikdu]

Troi starts all counseling sessions with male crewmembers by asking "So, is that a phaser rifle in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?"

[SilverSuit]

A shuttle once crashed into Babylon 5 :D

[djmillen]

Weasly wasnt annoying:D:D

[jason.tondro]

William Shatner had chronic athlete's foot during the making of the Original Series. This explains why, when the show returned from a commercial break, he was always pulling his boots on. This was often in the presence of attractive female aliens, who made Shatner nervous, and therefore sweaty, which made his athlete's foot all the worse.

[RecByjam]

Kirk is WEAK

and the Weak shall Perish!

[Chorion]

Phasers still work on borg drones after they have adapted to all modulations.

[Wyrminarrd]

Q´s full name is Irvin Q. Norbert.

[lumpking69]

The sheilds never fail cause of enemy fire, they acutally go out cause some one turned on the blender.

[Wyrminarrd]

The original storyline for Star Trek: Nemesis involved the crew of the Enterprise going back in time to Paragon City to stop Nemesis from taking over the USA in the year 2004.

[SilverSuit]

Voyager was made in china.

[ELITE-Kaos]

Deep space 9 was good.

The Federation is all about freedom

Enterprise followed cannon

Billy Riker would make a good captain

T'Pol was a Vulcan

[SilverSuit]

LOL
Janeway drank a cup of tea every morning.

[Wyrminarrd]

In the year 2345 federation scientist proved that seat belts killed more people then they save and thus got them banned from all starships.

[DeaconX]

James T. Kirk preferred the company of MEN. ;)

[SilverSuit]

Enterprise (NX-01) was an over-turned akira class from the future :P

[syxtfour@gmail.com]

The only trouble with Tribbles is that they're lousy tippers.

[SilverSuit]

The Enterprise-D would have pwned Voyager :P
(other way around :D )

[lumpking69]

Data didnt die, he just teleported him self to a near by shuttle and began a new life as dog groomer.

[Tomkan]

Data is a human being.

[Wyrminarrd]

Worf usually goes to the pet groomer at least twice a week.

[slinx]

I made the kessel run without going over warp 2 in just under 3 parsecs.

Sorry for combining

[SilverSuit]

no-one actually dies in the trek 'verse as they control everything by remote :D

[Vulcan_Sipho]

Star wars is far better than star trek could ever dream of being. Long Live George Lucas.

[mikester101]

Troy is a a virgin

[Vulcan_Sipho]

troy is picard in drag.

[thronin]

The Klingons and the Romulans are great friends, mainly because of the Romulans honestly and openness.

[themua]

the vulcans ADORE the klingons :D

[SilverSuit]

The federation actually has cloaking devices on all their ships.

[Larakon]

The enterprise in fact nvr existed... Picard Took red pill and thus left the Matrix

[SilverSuit]

And Neo took his place :P

[Vulcan_Sipho]

the real downfall ofthe borg is cause they caught cyphilis from Lucutis and all died.

[SilverSuit]

Vulcans really wear ear masks because otherwise they look almost like regular people, and they couldn't have that...

[Vulcan_Sipho]

star trek fans are really a bunch of rednecks

[EnsignSkylarkThibedeau]

Questarians Rule Trekkers Drool

By Grabthar's hammer, by the suns of Warvan, you shall be avenged!

Digitize me Fred

[SilverSuit]

Star trek was based off of Galaxy Quest, which did, in fact, happen :P

[Vulcan_Sipho]

galaxy quest did not happen the realworld isthe real world.

[SilverSuit]

::sighs::
This is a Star Trek LIE thread...
anyways, now my lie :D
This thread is a Star Trek Truth thread :D

[Vulcan_Sipho]

ok the star trek truth is the ferengi have takenover earth and we all love to have our ears rubbed.

[SilverSuit]

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLZ
you must like the ferengi...
anyways,
Data is from the future.

[Vulcan_Sipho]

data and worf are lovers

[SilverSuit]

Worf is really a human who had plastic surgery.

[Vulcan_Sipho]

the EMH program isreally a golf instructor

[SilverSuit]

The new EMH is 1 centimeter tall.

[Vulcan_Sipho]

the enterprise k has decks that are 175meters high each.

[SilverSuit]

But the J has ones that are 256328965925 miles high.

[rouvio]

Dr. Noonien Soong also created Diana Troy :eek:

[Vulcan_Sipho]

diana troy gave birth to a borg.

[SilverSuit]

Vulcans hate humans

[Vulcan_Sipho]

humans look like hortas

[SilverSuit]

Vulcans look like klingons

[Vulcan_Sipho]

klingons look like cattle

[SilverSuit]

cattle look like vulcans :eek:

[Vulcan_Sipho]

klingons have been spotted around Uranus.

[StraboV2]

I starred on Star Trek

[wrrlykam]

Hi, my name is Harlan Ellison and I wrote Spock's Brain.

[-Q-]

Data has a sister named NV

[dauntlesstrekker]

Barkley is a vegetable.

Oops, wait. I'm supposed to say a ST lie, right?

Fine.

Spot is a Romulan spy.

[Vulcan_Sipho]

spot is a dog

[Fester]

Khan, not only worked for charities including unicef, he also adopted 35 cats, he named them all kirk.

[Wyrminarrd]

Teleporters work by shifting people into alternitive dimension where everything is the same except your in a different location in that dimension.

[Davec8r]

Voyager's computer has been lying to them, when it said they were 70,000 lightyears from where they were, they were actually 70,000 km away and went the wrong direction

[Tomkan]

Starships don't have computers. Actually they don't exist.

[Wyrminarrd]

Janeway is adicted to soap opras and makes her crew act out an episode every week day.

[rouvio]

The Positronic Neural path is a hoax.

[Vulcan_Sipho]

spocks brain is a positronic neuralpathway

[SilverSuit]

Vulcans created teh BORG :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

[rouvio]

The Borg created the emergency medical holographic doctor !

[Boskone]

Al Gore invented sub-space communications.......

[lootra]

i invented the prometheus class

[rouvio]

Picard Is A Cardassian Spy !!!


*edit
lol..
is it TOO much ? :D
I'm turning upside down when reading this over and over again.. :eek:

[Vulcan_Sipho]

Spock was a horta

[SilverSuit]

The federation is at war with all vulcans secretly.

[Vulcan_Sipho]

the vulcans already won that war and have enslaved the humanrace.

[PAw]

Resistance is Falible

[SilverSuit]

Aaaaah yes sipho, but the humans have just taken vulcan without anyone noticing!

[Vulcan_Sipho]

it u take a borg ship and twist it till each sidehas all matcheing panels it unleashes the ultimate weapon.

[Wyrminarrd]

Warp drives don´t move the ship their own, they move the universe around it.

[Roberto]

Spock was using Kirk as his cosmic man w.h.o.r.e. to satisfy his own needs.

[rouvio]

The communicator is actually a secret Star fleet mind-control device

[Vulcan_Sipho]

The communicator is actually a secret Star fleet mind-control device
The communicator is actually a secret Star fleet mind-control device
The communicator is actually a secret Star fleet mind-control device

the communicator made me do this

[SilverSuit]

The communicator is being controlled by me

[Vulcan_Sipho]

you are beingcontrolled by a orion sex slave

[SilverSuit]

The communicator I am controlling made you say that :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

[Vulcan_Sipho]

the communicator is now broken as i droped it in toilet by mistake.

[SilverSuit]

Aaaaaah, yes BUT more StarFleet zombies implant one in your skin so you can't drop it :D

[rouvio]

Aaaaaah, yes BUT more StarFleet zombies implant one in your skin so you can't drop it :D


nonononono !!

NO implants and attributes..
puh-lease !

:D

[SilverSuit]

No!
Never!
:p

[Vulcan_Sipho]

theimplanti got does not exist as you were implanted to think iwas implanted.

[SilverSuit]

Nope, "COMPUTER, END PROGRAM!" :p

[Vulcan_Sipho]

ERROR there is no progrma running please specify again.

[rouvio]

ERROR there is no progrma running please specify again.

oh !
it is SO simple.. here is how to do it..

:p

[SilverSuit]

Me: "COMPUTER END THE PROGRAM NOW, THIS ISN'T FUNNY!"
The Computer: "SORRY SIR, PROGRAM ENDED AND DELETED"
Me: "THANK YOU"
The Computer: "YOU ARE WELCOME..."

[dauntlesstrekker]

The computer is now running Windows 95.

[SilverSuit]

Lolololololz

[ZackerySS]

The Jem'Hadar, The Borg and the Klingons are THE most peaceful species in the Star Trek Universe :D.
The Federation is just a group of genetically engineered, barbarian species, who assimilate other cultures.

[Vulcan_Sipho]

the enterprise F will be powered by windows

[themua312]

But the J is powered by Vista!!

[SilverSuit]

and the WEJFORWEHI will be powered by windows 1000934825 anniversary edition!

[Vulcan_Sipho]

the borg cubes are powered by ****

[SilverSuit]

You must mean that they are powered by macs...

[PAw]

Razor is not a god

[Vulcan_Sipho]

nope not macs those power klingon ships

[dauntlesstrekker]

The Borg are powered by bicycles.

[SladeTeck]

Praxis didn't actually blow up, it was just a attempt by Klingon High Command to get more money.

[dauntlesstrekker]

The needs of the few outweigh the needs of the many.

[Prospero]

the reason scotty became obese is because he ate 200 lbs of cheese in one sitting

[dauntlesstrekker]

Starfleet's database is in reality Wikipedia.

[SladeTeck]

The Founders are actually made of sentient Tapioca.

[Vulcan_Sipho]

Tapioca is actually ground up klingons mmmmmmmmmmmm nummy

[rouvio]

The Enterpris-D is actually a Minmatar Shuttle ! :eek:

[hdspidergirl24]

William Shatner actually did not have an elephant crap on his head during a safari, it was me.

[Wyrminarrd]

Benjamin Sisko is Kirks and Uhuras love child.

[DJ_Guardian]

Despite having previously worked as a historian, botanist, counterinsurgent, dragon slayer, professional Peeping Tom and Voyeur, engineer, database, battery, performer, zoo keeper, bartender, doorstop, commando, moon shuttle conductor, bricklayer, psychiatrist, mechanic, scientist, physicist, escalator, magician, flesh peddler, and a coal miner, Doctor McCoy was never actually a doctor.

[dauntlesstrekker]

Professor X was the real captain of the Enterprise D.

[Warp_Speed]

Klingons turn me on! WOOT!!!

[SladeTeck]

The Jem'Hadar are actually quite peace loving and have been known to make several different books that focus on togetherness.

[shewhosighs]

Tribbles are actually my long lost cousin Norm's way of taking over the universe and they make GREAT shoes

[Fester]

and they make GREAT shoes-thats ones true!!

I was on a lost episode of voyager where janeway didn't activate the self-destruct rather she and I had a love triangle with a vidiian diplomat.

[SilverSuit]

Janeway HATES coffee

[Darkblaze]

Q's real true name is Engelbert Humperdinck

[vp21ct]

Q is a nice, mature pearson, who would never be cruel to anyone.

[vp21ct]

The vulcans are actually humans who were kicked off earth because they were smarty pants.

[teeth_03]

species 8472 are warm and cuddly like Ewoks

[lumpking69]

Wesley Crusher never left, he just slept realy late.

[captainkirk]

Seven of Nine is hot

[Cuddles]

species 8472 are warm and cuddly like Ewoks

Damn straight they are :D

The Borg stole my hat.

[Wyrminarrd]

Troy pulls on her boyfriends hair while she sleeps which is way Picard never had his baldness cured.

[rouvio]

Seven of Nine is hot


the person I quoted is INCORRECT :D

(that's a lie thread ! how on earth you dont find Seven of Nine H-O-T! )

[bloom501]

Klingons are known for the vast flower gardens they cultivate. Also, well know for their cleaniness.

[Cuddles]

War is not good for business.

[AlienTwo]

My real life is the model used for both Picard and Scotty's back story.

[rouvio]

It is a bad day to die..

[rouvio]

Earl Grey. Chilled.

[Wyrminarrd]

Worfs favorite pass time is disco dancing.

[SilverSuit]

Picard always drank coffee.

[Wyrminarrd]

Ferengi food fights are the Federations favorite tv sport.

[SilverSuit]

Romulan Ale is derived from water.

[rouvio]

Water is derived from Romulan Ale.

[Rocketeer]

Kirk is skinny.

[Vulcan_Sipho]

Seven of Nine is actually Steve Carrel

[rouvio]

Data's Positronic RAM capacity is 256KB .

[dauntlesstrekker]

There are no real fish in Picard's aquarium. In fact there never was an aquarium. What aquarium?

[Fester]

all the "actors" on the original star trek were muppets

[Rocketeer]

All of the Muppets in TOS were actors.

[BCSJake]

Captain John Luc picard hated everyone who he saw and wanted to kill each and every one of them :) :) :)

[indigowhale345]

The Genesis torpedo was actually intended to be used to control and accelerate the development of pre-warp civilizations. By converting the mass of an otherwise useless planet into an equivalent mass of tacos, the Federation would have a nearly endless supply of tacos to secretly feed to pre-warp civilizations. A strong diet of tacos has been proven to be the catalyst for the eventual development of warp drive in every known warp capable civilization.

[kraydl]

The Enterprise ran on Ethanol.

[BCSJake]

Catherine Janeway was a captain of a pirate vessel that attacked star trek enterprise on the 22nd episode...

[Fester]

in 1921 "Gene Roddenberry" crashed landed on earth, he made a living years later by making his ships logs into a tv show he would call "star trek".

[starbuck1771]

Spock has Blue blood!

[Quince]

The Tribbles are actually Klingons, it's just they wear disguises.

[Admiral.of.Starfleet]

Starfleet Cadets are taught how to create and stabilize an omega particle and have to make one and stabilize it to leave the academy.:eek:

[Cuddles]

Romulans are well known for their love of chocolate milk.

[Admiral.of.Starfleet]

The Trade Federation from Star Wars is secretly a part of the Star Trek federation.

[Cuddles]

Tholians are actually Giant Microwave Ovens.

[dauntlesstrekker]

Geordi got all the women.

[thelionwaits]

It's a little known fact that Gowron, former head of the Klingon Empire, had a special affinity for cute and fluffy kittens. He had several smuggled from Earth and Federation colonies nearest to Quo'nos. When he was not out ruling the empire with his bug eyes and lack of any true leadership abilities, he was at home in the Imperial Palace with several large balls of twine, feather toys and catnip. Upon the time of his death, the Cult of Fuzzily Cuteness, established by Gowron and the long forgotten last descendant of the Duras Family, Hurr'brrt, carried on for an astounding 2 years before it was discovered and replaced by the Klingon Underground Lovers of Poodles. The latter group was found and left in the middle of the R'llee H'ot D's'Rt on Quo'nos and left for dead. The last thing seen or heard from from the K.U.L.P. were the bloodcurdling screams and sounds of combat with the wild Klingon Sand Dragons as the last of the transports departed.
All poodles and kittens thereafter found on Quo'nos were rounded up, cooked in a large Bar-b-q, and eaten with Gakh and washed down with prune juice.

(you wanted a lie...hope this works for you all.)
TLW

[SilverSuit]

The Vulcans are a large contributer to an intel spin-off called "emotion inside" :D

[Arcturus]

Kirk didn't actually know how to make the cannon in the Episode with the Gorn, the Sentinel from 2001 a Space Odyssey told him how.

[Cuddles]

There were 78 episodes of The Original Series.

[Vulcan_Sipho]

there have been 12 movies made on star trek.... the first 2 were porn.

Spock and Uhura Chicka bow wow

[rouvio]

I am the Borg.

[Cuddles]

Captain Kirk was actually going to be portrayed by a monkey.

[hinaito]

Porthos is the actual captain of the NX-01 Enterprise ^_^

[dauntlesstrekker]

In Star Trek 4 1/2, the Enterprise crew goes back in time to save the Dodo bird from extinction, just so that they can have a Dodo bird BBQ in the future with a side of Bones' beans.

[stang]

Klingons taste like chicken

[No1UKnow]

In 4437 the Humans from Mars discover the lost discs while excavating far beneath what was once the city of Francisco. On the discs it was discovered that humans used to entertain themselves by pretending to live in completely fabricated universes. Apparently the most successful universe of all was called Star Trek Online.

[Fadde]

Every girl knows Klingons have small Batliffs!

[Admiral.of.Starfleet]

Bigfoot is really a mugato.:eek:

[Admiral_William_Dorn]

The life span of most new ensign's was 1 - 2 seasons.



http://i291.photobucket.com/albums/ll301/jediwalker79/Star_Trek_funny_pics_01.jpg

[Cuddles]

The Enterprise was sponsered by Red Bull, which is why it could fly.

[davie1234]

we are the borg.........dont worry bout it just flyin past dont panic .....soooo ehhh those Redsox's eh ...

[Cuddles]

Scotty never ever drank.

[rouvio]

The medical tricorder can be modified to enhance the amm.. "romantic" feeling.

[xiphias]

Crew-members on a starship just "hold it in" between starbases.

[Fester]

Data and Tasha Yar had a human/robot baby named Bjork who later due to an accident was sent through time and space and founded the Borg.

[Cuddles]

Everyone aboard the Enterprise was an Ensign bar 2 Chief Petty Officers... both of whom hung themselves of humiliation prior to the start of TNG.

[andyivey1138]

Always remember the Prime Directive: Shoot first and ask questions later.

[BCSJake]

Captain John luc picard was a transvestite and had 6 operations of plastic surgery in the last movie of star trek.

[Dustnite]

Star Trek is real...

[Cuddles]

This is the tell a lie thread!!!!

Picard regularly went to the toilet in his fishbowl to keep a good acidity level in the tank.

[Deletham_Tomalak]

Lore was actually data disguised as lore while in descent and Lore killed Data not Data killing Lore

[skywolf]

You will not be assimilated.

the Borg love My Little Ponies :p .

[Admiral.of.Starfleet]

Contrary to Popular belief, klingons actually love tribbles but dont like being caught in public with them because everyone will think they are not tough warriors.

[Cuddles]

Each Captain in Star Trek was actually based off Yes Minister characters.

[Debaser]

There were FIVE lights!

[Quint]

Star Trek is really a front for Scientology.

[Cuddles]

The Borg were invented by Sir Isaac Newton.

[Zyrious]

The federation is a far right conservative government....

[Wyrminarrd]

Janeway is a devote scientologist and fires anyone who makes fun of the religion out of a torpedo tube.

[thelionwaits]

When Picard ordered, "Tea, Earl Grey, hot" was actually using a secret code progemmed into the computer which actually meant, "Double whiskey and Coke made to look like tea in a froo froo little sapce cup thingie."

[rouvio]

Unknowingly to Picard, Wesley replaced his secret code with something far-more potent : An Absinthe extract from the ruins of Khitomer !

OMG ! I WANT ONE TOO ! :eek: :D

[thelionwaits]

A little known fact: Spock was actually a female vulcan pretending to be male to get away from her father's influence to experience life out in the galaxy. She held secret raves in the arboretum during the delta shift dressed as a go-go dancer.

[shewhosighs]

Last week my bird and I were recruited for section 31 and we are currently working on a HUUUGE conspiracy involving worf, riker, gowron and pop ice. More than that, we can not tell you or we'd have to kill you to preserve the Federations security:cool:

[Barnjohn]

Worf wore a cool-looking outfit when he married Jadzia Dax.

[Malsonic]

There is a Gorn in the Original Can you find the Gorn in this Picture.

[SilverSuit]

Janeway HATED Coffee!

[Admiral.of.Starfleet]

Kirk was gay.

[spartan547]

There are 5 lights.

[Time_Lord]

Star Trek Lie...


Kirk made off with Scotty in the original series, the episode was pulled a it was deemed too frightening to small people.

[EkulTails]

Star Trek is actually a different timeline of the Star Wars Universe where the Jedi's finally f****ing died.

[JadeEngima]

Love is illogical.

[Cuddles]

The USS Defiant was a pleasure cruiser.

[stogod]

A klingons favorite pass time is fluffy bunny collecting (wolf currently owns 2154).

[Wyrminarrd]

The Voyager series was dismissed from cannon by having all the events of the series be just a bad dream that Sisko had due to eating to much cheese before going to bed.

[SilverSuit]

And in that dream (I'm sorry I can't help it...) Voyager farted alot.

[thelionwaits]

And during this gaseous and unusual dream, a sentient life form emerged and departed for the gamma quadrant to find the Dominion.

[i-onix]

Wesley Crusher replaces Captain Jean-luc picard in the new up comming game called Star trek Online. Wesley will be your right hand man and will assist you every second of your journey.

[Ignak]

The best episode ever, was the one which mixed up Neelix and Wesley, and made an individual called Weelix. Weelix was the best ever rated character on all star trek series.