View Full Version : All Hail Gozer, Destroyer of Worlds!
M_Wagner
10-15-2009, 12:26 AM
So, during another riveting IRC session tonight, it was suggested that we start a Cryptic_Gozer thread since he is so awesome. Here it is. Post away...
Peregrine_Falcon
10-15-2009, 12:28 AM
I've heard it said that Gozer's computer doesn't have a Control key.
Because Gozer is always in Control. :)
Forgotten-Nemesis
10-15-2009, 12:29 AM
The only way to defeat Gozer is to cross the streams!
JesseH21
10-15-2009, 12:31 AM
The only way to defeat Gozer is to cross the streams!
only if you have your away team fully equipped with the illusive proton pack ultra rare ground combat weapon.
lajkalove
10-15-2009, 12:32 AM
Gozer is not moved by the world around him Gozer moves the world around him :D
Osias
10-15-2009, 12:40 AM
I'm pretty sure Gozer stole my socks.
I want those socks back!
Cuddles
10-15-2009, 12:40 AM
Chuck Norris stared Gozer in the face, and Norris backed down in shame.
If you have five dollars and Gozer has five dollars, Gozer has more money than you.
Gozer's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Gozer can slam revolving doors.
Cowbert
10-15-2009, 12:43 AM
everyone clear your minds!!!!
OH NOES NOT THE STAY PUFT MARSHMELLOW MAN
Cuddles
10-15-2009, 12:44 AM
Gozer was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 13 minutes and 37 seconds.
Once a cobra bit Gozer's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
If you spell Gozer wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Gozer?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
gair22
10-15-2009, 12:47 AM
The only way to defeat Gozer is to cross the streams!
Haha thats awesome! GB ftw.
Lt-Baba_Booey
10-15-2009, 12:49 AM
Once a year on his birthday gozer chooses 5 lucky forum members who ask for beta keys to be thrown into the sun.
M_Wagner
10-15-2009, 12:55 AM
Gozer doesn't just delete worlds... he changes the space/time continuum so they never existed in the first place.
shadowsafer
10-15-2009, 01:03 AM
When Gozer wants to drink coffee all he has to do is put the beans in a cup of water and then stare at them.
The intensity of his staring will cause spontanius combustion, frying the beans and creating such strong black coffee that it would keep Janeway up for a week straight.
And that's after 1 sip!
shadowsafer
10-15-2009, 01:13 AM
Romules wasn't destroyed by a super nova, it was because Gozer had to sneeze and the planet just happened to stand in the way.
Peregrine_Falcon
10-15-2009, 01:15 AM
This (http://img394.imageshack.us/img394/5931/crypticgozer.jpg) is what came back when I tried a google search on Gozer.
shadowsafer
10-15-2009, 01:25 AM
This (http://img394.imageshack.us/img394/5931/crypticgozer.jpg) is what came back when I tried a google search on Gozer.
Hehe, nice one. ;)
Hardac
10-15-2009, 01:30 AM
Apple pays Gozer 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Gozer can sneeze with his eyes open.
Gozer can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
Gozer is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Gozer destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Gozer can kill two stones with one bird.
Gozer once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
Crop circles are Gozers' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.
Gozer is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Gozer out. It failed miserably.
Contrary to popular belief, Gozer, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Gozer has 72... and they're all poisonous.
If you ask Gozer what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Gozer drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
When Gozer sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Gozer has not had to pay taxes, ever.
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Gozers' fist.
Gozer invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
CNN was originally created as the "Gozer Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
Gozer can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Gozer allows to live.
Gozer once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
What was going through the minds of all of Gozers' victims before they died? His shoe.
Gozer is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Police label anyone attacking Gozer as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.
Gozer doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
Gozer doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Gozer and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
If you spell Gozer in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
Gozer originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Gozer replied, "That's no glitch."
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Gozer once and he will roundhouse you in the face.
The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Gozer played in second grade.
Gozer once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
Gozer once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Gozer re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.
Gozer has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
Someone once tried to tell Gozer that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Gozer once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
Gozer is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Gozer.
Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Gozers' warm-up exercises.
Gozer is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Gozer turned that wine into beer.
Gozer can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Gozer.
Gozer discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Gozer is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Gozer roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
Gozer doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
The Gozer military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Gozer could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Gozer could use to kill you, including the room itself.
When Gozer goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
duckforceone
10-15-2009, 01:33 AM
Gozer is so phat, that i had to use an entire tank of gas to drive around him... :D
ohhh wrong post..
err..
Gozer is so powerful, that he triggers the omega directive every time he's in the same quadrant as a federation vessel. (only trekkies should figure this one out)
rabidchocobo
10-15-2009, 01:50 AM
The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Gozer played in second grade.
And even then, what you saw in the scene was still edited for violent and gory content.
JesseH21
10-15-2009, 01:52 AM
Gozer... known in every language as "Oh **** dont **** it off."
jollyroro
10-15-2009, 02:01 AM
Gozer taught KIRK, the Gozer Roll!
shadowsafer
10-15-2009, 02:39 AM
There is only 1 thing that can stop the Kirkians from conquering the rest of the universe. Gozer.
Earth, wind, fire and Gozer
Genex
10-15-2009, 03:02 AM
When Gozer wears a red shirt for the away mission, everyone else dies
Tribbler
10-15-2009, 03:33 AM
Gozer saved the Tribbles and we dedicated a city, hign school, library, thousands of streets, monuments and a year to his honor.
Never forget Gozer, has been our National Anthem
Huzzah!
SelorKiith
10-15-2009, 03:53 AM
Hail Gozer the Gozerian, Gozer the Destructor, Volguus Zildrohar, Gozer the Traveler, he has come to destroy *kneels down*
onesoul1982
10-15-2009, 04:35 AM
So..does this mean that Gozer is a 1980's workout instructor with a flat top hair style? :D
scottage00
10-15-2009, 04:40 AM
Gozer the Traveler. He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!
Zandtar
10-15-2009, 04:44 AM
If you want to know who Gozer thinks is an enemy, check out the extinct species list.
Superman wears Gozer underoo's.
The Boogyman checks his closet for Gozer every night.
vegetta
10-15-2009, 04:45 AM
Cross The Streams Cross The Streams
Pyrceval
10-15-2009, 04:47 AM
I wonder...does Gozer also go by the name of Bill Brasky?
crazy_guy
10-15-2009, 04:56 AM
Very easy one:
Gozer.equals('Q'); ;)
Second one:
In Java the object class decends from the Gozer class.
SilverComet
10-15-2009, 05:08 AM
Gozer is so well known for his appetite for pleasure, that Kirk is in fact his son, the appetite has diluted in the second generation.
Gozer was once a security officer on a TOS era ship, this is why they changed the uniform to red for command.
koraQ
10-15-2009, 05:12 AM
When traveling the galaxy, who needs a towel when you have Gozer
In the original script of Star Trek 2, kirk was ment to scream: GOOOOOZER!!!
Pi=3.14goozer
Gozer is the only surviving Red Shirt
shadowsafer
10-15-2009, 06:21 AM
Q thought themselves omnipotent, until they met Gozer.
The Borg tried to assimulate Gozer once, but Gozer was so advanced that they ended up being his minions instead when they got infected with Gozerness.
In 2409 the Borg finally managed to adept their shield technology to render even Quantum torpedoes useless. They thought themselves safe until they met Gozer, who spit on a cube and made it instantly explode.
Now they retreated to the furtest cornours of space, afraid of going extinct if they ever encounter him again.
shadowsafer
10-15-2009, 06:33 AM
Mankind could never quite figure out why Mona Lisa smiled the way she did.
In reality it was because Gozer time traveled to the past, took in Leonardo's place and called her a naughty girl when painting her. ;)
(Small side note; gozer is dutch for dude, in a way his forum name says 'cryptic dude', just to give you some more to think about what his name REALLY implies..) :D
Dakan
10-15-2009, 06:33 AM
Gozer can divide by zero.
To shave, Gozer roundhouse kicks himself in the face. The only thing sharp enough to cut Gozer, is Gozer.
Xenoshaft
10-15-2009, 06:53 AM
Ted! Annette! I'm glad you could come, how you doin', give me your coats. Everybody, this is Ted and Annette Fleming! Ted has a small carpet cleaning business in receivership; Annette's drawing a salary from a deferred bonus from two years ago! They got fifteen thousand left on the house at eight percent.
So they're okay! So, does anybody wanna play Parcheesi?
***growls***
Okay, who brought the dog?
__________________________
Dr Ray Stantz: Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by dickless here.
Walter Peck: They caused an explosion!
Mayor: Is this true?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Yes it's true.
[pause]
Dr. Peter Venkman: This man has no D&%$
_____________________________
Thank you Gozer, I just have one question for you..
I am the Keymaster---------are you the Gatekeeper??? :eek: j/k
JacobFlowers
10-15-2009, 07:40 AM
Gozer is SO AWESOME he could strangle Godzilla with a cordless phone!
BaakCha
10-15-2009, 07:52 AM
On the seventh day, God rested. On the eighth day, Gozer took over.
Pyrceval
10-15-2009, 07:56 AM
When Roddenberry passed away, it was revealed he had been in contact with a being of immense power all along that was the true insperation and force behind Trek's creation...that being simply went by the name Gozer...
The real reason Galactus hasnt eaten earth yet...Gozer ...
The Borg keep trying to get earth in hopes of assimilating the almighty Gozer powers and make them invincible.
syberghost
10-15-2009, 08:55 AM
One time I saw Gozer punch a hole through a cow, just to see what was on the other side.
When I suggested he could have looked around the cow, he punched a hole through me too.
...I got better.
BaakCha
10-15-2009, 08:57 AM
...I got better.
That's how I know you're lying. ;)
Pyrceval
10-15-2009, 08:57 AM
One time I saw Gozer punch a hole through a cow, just to see what was on the other side.
When I suggested he could have looked around the cow, he punched a hole through me too.
...I got better.
Had Gozer punched a hole through you, there would be no you left to get better. Such is his might.
BaakCha
10-15-2009, 09:15 AM
Beneath Gozer's beard there is no chin, just another fist.
Lictalon
10-15-2009, 09:30 AM
That's how I know you're lying. ;)
That is unless Gozer hit him so hard, he ripped a hole between dimensions, creating an infinite number of Universes in which he has yet to be punched...yet.
BaakCha
10-15-2009, 08:54 PM
That is unless Gozer hit him so hard, he ripped a hole between dimensions, creating an infinite number of Universes in which he has yet to be punched...yet.
I would hope that wouldn't be the case. If so, when the dimensional tear opened, an army of cross-dimensional Gozers would team up and converge on each reality. After pwning all life they would then turn to each other, beginning a free for all asskicking fiesta that would rock the foundations of the universe itself.
Gozer can count to infinity ......... twice.
dgriffis
10-15-2009, 09:24 PM
you guys are awesome.... the google link made me snort soda up my nose... lol
Desterion
10-15-2009, 09:24 PM
so about those proton packs... can we get some as a toy?
And god said, let there be light, but nay, for Gozer spoke and say unto god, I am not doneth with mine nap, and it was so.
Gozer bleed once, just to see what it looked like.
Peregrine_Falcon
10-15-2009, 09:33 PM
you guys are awesome.... the google link made me snort soda up my nose... lol
I'm glad that you enjoyed it, oh mighty Gozer! :)
The_Ogopogo
10-15-2009, 09:35 PM
Klingons and Romulans don't have cloaking devices, they simply prey to Gozer to hide them at the appropriate times.
Gozer once crushed a dollar in his hands and got 5 quarters.
Gozer doesn't sign autographs, he brands property.
sborax
10-15-2009, 09:42 PM
All Hail Gozer!! "Can I have more marshmellows now?"
Rivaris
10-15-2009, 09:43 PM
This (http://img394.imageshack.us/img394/5931/crypticgozer.jpg) is what came back when I tried a google search on Gozer.
good find but we all know you dont look for gozer he comes looking for you :)
The_Ogopogo
10-15-2009, 09:47 PM
The earth asks permission from Gozer to rotate.
The sun rises on Gozer's schedule.
The wind is always at Gozer's back, it's too afraid to come at him from the front.
Gozer doesn't require sustinence. Sustinence requires Gozer.
Swordopolis
10-15-2009, 09:51 PM
Unlike all the other people who read this, Gozer will never lose The Game.
Nytok
10-15-2009, 10:23 PM
Gozer is so powerful, when the Ghostbusters thought that they destroyed him all they created was his reincarnation: Kirk, destroyer of Klingons
Kaybok
10-15-2009, 10:24 PM
From the Most Holy "Book of Zuul"
3:16 - And Gozer said unto them, "Behold, unto thee I have said the beta is soon and so shall it be."
3:17 - The people looked upon Gozer, astonished at his words. And the peace of Gozer decended upon all who believed.
3:18 - But some of them believed not, wicked and terrible in their ways. For they asked yet again in their hearts, "Lord, when is the beta?"
3:19 - When Gozer perceived their thoughts, he sighed and said unto the infidels, "O ye of little faith. Why tempt thou me? Knowest ye not that I have the power to destroy thee?"
3:20 - When the unbelievers heard the words of Gozer they were struck with terrible fear for they knew the might of Gozer.
3:21 - Unto this day it is said, ask Him not about the beta for in the day that thou doest thou shalt surely die.
shadowsafer
10-15-2009, 10:55 PM
From the Most Holy "Book of Zuul"
3:16 - And Gozer said unto them, "Behold, unto thee I have said the beta is soon and so shall it be."
3:17 - The people looked upon Gozer, astonished at his words. And the peace of Gozer decended upon all who believed.
3:18 - But some of them believed not, wicked and terrible in their ways. For they asked yet again in their hearts, "Lord, when is the beta?"
3:19 - When Gozer perceived their thoughts, he sighed and said unto the infidels, "O ye of little faith. Why tempt thou me? Knowest ye not that I have the power to destroy thee?"
3:20 - When the unbelievers heard the words of Gozer they were struck with terrible fear for they knew the might of Gozer.
3:21 - Unto this day it is said, ask Him not about the beta for in the day that thou doest thou shalt surely die.
Lol! Bonus points for originality. :D
From the Most Holy "Book of Zuul"
3:16 - And Gozer said unto them, "Behold, unto thee I have said the beta is soon and so shall it be."
3:17 - The people looked upon Gozer, astonished at his words. And the peace of Gozer decended upon all who believed.
3:18 - But some of them believed not, wicked and terrible in their ways. For they asked yet again in their hearts, "Lord, when is the beta?"
3:19 - When Gozer perceived their thoughts, he sighed and said unto the infidels, "O ye of little faith. Why tempt thou me? Knowest ye not that I have the power to destroy thee?"
3:20 - When the unbelievers heard the words of Gozer they were struck with terrible fear for they knew the might of Gozer.
3:21 - Unto this day it is said, ask Him not about the beta for in the day that thou doest thou shalt surely die.
Haha! It should be posted on the index page imo! No more beta questions! Read this:
Pyrceval
10-16-2009, 06:20 AM
In the end, there can be only one...and that one is Gozer.
RyeGlitch
10-16-2009, 08:17 AM
From the Most Holy "Book of Zuul"
3:16 - And Gozer said unto them, "Behold, unto thee I have said the beta is soon and so shall it be."
3:17 - The people looked upon Gozer, astonished at his words. And the peace of Gozer decended upon all who believed.
3:18 - But some of them believed not, wicked and terrible in their ways. For they asked yet again in their hearts, "Lord, when is the beta?"
3:19 - When Gozer perceived their thoughts, he sighed and said unto the infidels, "O ye of little faith. Why tempt thou me? Knowest ye not that I have the power to destroy thee?"
3:20 - When the unbelievers heard the words of Gozer they were struck with terrible fear for they knew the might of Gozer.
3:21 - Unto this day it is said, ask Him not about the beta for in the day that thou doest thou shalt surely die.
Priceless!!
wolfing
10-16-2009, 08:29 AM
Gozer once practiced fighting his reflection on a mirror. Now they call him Vampire because he has no reflection on mirrors.
Stormnet
10-16-2009, 08:40 AM
Apple pays Gozer 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Gozer can sneeze with his eyes open.
Gozer can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
Gozer is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Gozer destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Gozer can kill two stones with one bird.
Gozer once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
Crop circles are Gozers' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.
Gozer is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Gozer out. It failed miserably.
Contrary to popular belief, Gozer, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Gozer has 72... and they're all poisonous.
If you ask Gozer what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Gozer drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
When Gozer sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Gozer has not had to pay taxes, ever.
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Gozers' fist.
Gozer invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
CNN was originally created as the "Gozer Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
Gozer can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Gozer allows to live.
Gozer once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
What was going through the minds of all of Gozers' victims before they died? His shoe.
Gozer is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Police label anyone attacking Gozer as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.
Gozer doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
Gozer doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Gozer and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
If you spell Gozer in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
Gozer originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Gozer replied, "That's no glitch."
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Gozer once and he will roundhouse you in the face.
The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Gozer played in second grade.
Gozer once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
Gozer once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Gozer re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.
Gozer has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
Someone once tried to tell Gozer that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Gozer once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
Gozer is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Gozer.
Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Gozers' warm-up exercises.
Gozer is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Gozer turned that wine into beer.
Gozer can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Gozer.
Gozer discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Gozer is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Gozer roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
Gozer doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
The Gozer military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Gozer could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Gozer could use to kill you, including the room itself.
When Gozer goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
Excellent writing! Funny as hell!
Lictalon
10-16-2009, 08:50 AM
you guys are awesome.... the google link made me snort soda up my nose... lol
..At which point the Soda didnt just cease to exist.... it never existed at all...
bobalobabingbong
10-16-2009, 09:02 AM
Chuck Norris stared Gozer in the face, and Norris backed down in shame.
If you have five dollars and Gozer has five dollars, Gozer has more money than you.
Gozer's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Gozer can slam revolving doors.
I lol'd. Nice one.
Antagonist
10-16-2009, 09:30 AM
Gozer is the only known being to have real-life Alts.
Chuck Norris is one of them:eek:
God doesn't let Gozer live, Gozer lets God live.
... too much? :D
BaakCha
10-16-2009, 10:12 AM
In Communist Russia YOU roundhouse kick Gozer in the face. :eek:
Pyrceval
10-16-2009, 10:14 AM
In Communist Russia YOU roundhouse kick Gozer in the face. :eek:
Nay, not possible...instead he merely looks at you and you roundhouse YOURSELF in the face :)
BaakCha
10-16-2009, 10:25 AM
Nay, not possible...instead he merely looks at you and you roundhouse YOURSELF in the face :)
......touche.....:D
LordDave
10-16-2009, 11:11 AM
There won't be hackers in STO... just Gozer.
Khern
10-16-2009, 04:36 PM
When the Borg detected Gozer resistance was truly futile. Gozer had some real fun!
Poor Borg..
mrwalsh
10-16-2009, 04:51 PM
The only reason that the closed public beta hasn't started yet is because Gozer occupies all the slots they need, and will continue to do so into the foreseeable future. They're hoping to squeeze 5 or 6 guys in at the stress testing stage though. :D
miqrogroove
10-16-2009, 06:46 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M77bEeARKRo
Liberty
10-16-2009, 07:52 PM
Peter: This reminds me of the time you tried to drill a hole through your head. Remember that?
Egon: That would have worked if you hadn't stopped me.
http://traditionaldanimatio.deviantart.com/art/Egon-this-reminds-me-138890202
If someone asks you if your a God.....
http://sccskwerl.deviantart.com/art/Stink-Child-Comics-52-76494438
ODST_General
10-16-2009, 08:07 PM
Peter: This reminds me of the time you tried to drill a hole through your head. Remember that?
Egon: That would have worked if you hadn't stopped me.
http://traditionaldanimatio.deviantart.com/art/Egon-this-reminds-me-138890202
If someone asks you if your a God.....
http://sccskwerl.deviantart.com/art/Stink-Child-Comics-52-76494438
lol I have seen that drill picture a week ago roughly, really pretty funny.
onesoul1982
10-16-2009, 08:35 PM
And on the 7th day..god rested..
and Gozer rose up from the Void and made Sunday a day of football and hot dogs :D
Aerelleus
10-16-2009, 09:49 PM
little know facts on Gozer.
1. Gozer invented Cheetos
2. Gozer is a Cofounder Of Bubba Gump Tribbles along with Rehkan
3. Gozer Always Gets High Fives ( from the Todd)
4. During the third Immolification of the Voldronites He Choose the form of a giant Moving Sloar! Many Zuls Knew what it was to be Roasted in the depths of the sloar that day i can tell you
amcdermo
12-12-2009, 09:10 PM
Gozer turned Zebras black and white because he thought they were showing off.
Gozer has a sketch book full of pictures of Muhammed.
Gozer spat on the ground and caused the Great Flood.
ODST_General
12-14-2009, 10:39 PM
One time Gozer stared at the sun until it went out.
Hagon
12-14-2009, 10:51 PM
It's too bad Gozer never took the time to learn about Star Trek and Klingons.
Gozer is the only person trusted to cut Mot's hair.
wildcard454
12-15-2009, 12:36 AM
Instead of the Holy Hand Grenade, They called for Gozer the Magnificiant to kill the little bunny, with it's horrid little beedy eyes and fangs...
When the French man taunted Gozer for a second time, Gozer round house kicked him farther than a Swallow could fly with a Coconut..:eek:
Shaxie
12-15-2009, 12:46 AM
Gozer lost his virginity before his dad.
wildcard454
12-15-2009, 12:50 AM
Klingons are PVP only cause that is the way Gozer wanted it:D
Nightshade7777
12-15-2009, 01:35 AM
What'd You Do Ray!!!!!!!!
mrdelta
12-15-2009, 03:37 AM
Gozer knows the question, and the answer is actually 41.
robgomm
12-15-2009, 04:13 AM
Why are you all bigging up Gozer when he screwed up on the EU preorders? He's tainted his reputation, Stormshades your man now.
sigintwarrior
12-15-2009, 05:21 AM
Are you the GateKeeper?
jmill565
12-15-2009, 05:30 AM
Gozer the Traveller will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification
of the Vuldronaii the Traveller came as a very large and moving Torb. Then of course
in the third reconciliation of the last of the Meketrex supplicants they chose a new
form for him, that of a Sloar. Many Shubs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in
the depths of the Sloar that day I can tell you.
Damn you love monkey!
chintzen
12-15-2009, 06:36 AM
All I have to say is Gozer is...'Gozer's a Nimble Little Minx!' :p
Niblik
12-15-2009, 09:05 AM
When Gozer wears a red shirt for the away mission, everyone else dies
This is my favorite so far! :)
wildcard454
12-17-2009, 04:36 PM
Gozer Rules!!!!!!
djnattyd
12-18-2009, 02:20 AM
Once, Gozer was told that he couldn't punch an elephant to the ground... Elephants are now an endagered species because of this...